Chilly Boston Nights
by ElizabethCastle
Summary: An AU set in 40's Boston. Jane Rizzoli is a cross dresser from East Boston, but her nightlife is spent in West Boston at the Dirty Robber, a jazz club featuring the underground sensation, Maura Isles, a jazz singer. Will their infatuation blossom into something more. More R&I characters to show up inside. Enjoy a drink at the Robber on me, may I suggest the beer?
1. A Smooth Dance & A Chilly Night

Jane Rizzoli was not one to be trifled with, she would not stand for the glares or the snide remarks of ignorant people. Should you try to fuck with her, have no doubt she would fuck with you right back, often to the sound of appluase and whistles. Still, everybody knew there was one girl, that Rizzoli never could seem to catch- her favorite night club singer. This woman usually worked at The Dirty Robber, Jane's headquarters so to speak. And damn, if Jane didn't remember every song she sang. Every body had their eye on this "Maura Isles"- men wanted to be seen with her, women wanted to be friends with her. Jane, however was one of the exceptions. She didn't care about being seen with Maura, nor did she want to be friends with Maura- Jane, to put a fine point on it, was infatuated with this night club beauty.

So on this chilly October night, Rizzoli came into The Dirty Robber expecting nothing less than Maura up beside the piano singing the latest hit. Casually she handed her coat to the attendant and flattened her newly-tailored men's suit against her fit figure. Her ears opened to the sweetest song she'd ever heard, I'll Walk Alone. Maura's voice was immediatley recognizable, that honey dipped crooning that stole all the oxygen from the large room. She always left everyone breathless, everyone but Jane, who always retained her cool and calm demeanor, staring up at Maura from her usual spot at the bar, beer in hand.

Maura smiled at the crowd as she finished her song, and scanned the room with her honey brown eyes, catching the eyes she was looking for. It was also no secret that Maura had a thing for the raven-haired Rizzoli, however she had promised that she wouldn't do anything brash and had stuck to that promise for months now. Her light gold dress glittered as she stepped off the small stage, giving a wink to the barman to singal that she was ready. A tall glass of red wine in her hand as she sat down a couple seats away from the now fidgeting Rizzoli.  
The pianist began a sultry jazz tune, and the barman whistled to get everyone's attention.

"Ladies' choice." he yelled, as the crowd separated into men and women. Girls picked up their men and began dancing closely. After everyone had paired off, a few stragglers around the edge of the dance floor, Maura stood from her spot at the bar, finishing off the last of her red wine.  
"Ladies' choice?" came the voice to Rizzoli's ear. Maura stood next to Jane, her hair flowing across one shoulder as she tilted her head a daring look on her face.  
"Sure." Jane said, removing her hat and sitting it next to her beer on the bar.

Maura led the way as Jane enjoyed the view from behind. The song was already half-way through as Jane took Maura into her arms to dance. A few couples noticed and left the floor, wanting to watch what might unfold. They began waltzing around the dance floor, both parties silent, but their eyes said more to each other than words could convey. As the song ended, and the remaining couples clapped, Maura eyed Barold the pianist and hitched her chin. Jane noticed, but finished clapping, determined not to say anything. However, as Barold started with the slow, sweet melody, she smirked, now knowing what Maura's plan had been. As they came back together for another dance, Maura wrapped her arms around Jane's neck, letting her thumbs run over the skin she found there. Jane gave a slight shiver but let her hands drop to Maura's waist, careful not to go any further than was suitable- maybe a little further.

Slowly they began dancing to the demure song, the pianist drawing out each sleepy note.  
"Was this your plan all along, Ms. Isles?"  
"Maura, please. And I'll never tell, Jane." Jane smirked hearing her name come from the singer's lips.  
"I might have to get it out of you'"  
"You wouldn't dare." Maura muttered smiling up at her dancing partner. "After all today's my birthday."  
"And I forgot to get you a present." Jane smirked again.  
"Oh, well, I'm sure we'll figure out something." Maura said, slightly pressing against Jane. With a quick, quiet groan, Jane gripped Maura's waist. Maura obviously enjoyed Jane's reaction, and continued her movements,  
"Don't make promises you can't keep, Ms Isles." Jane's sultry voice whispered so close to Maura's ear, she practically kissed the pale flesh beneath her lips.  
"I would never dream of it." The blonde said with a slight smile. "I believe this is the part where you ask to walk me home." Jane knew it could never be that easy, but perhaps it would lead to something more for the future.  
"I suppose so. Do you need someone to escort you home, Maura?" She added a steamy, humid sound to the lady's name.  
"I suppose so." Maura whispered into Jane's ear. Giving a quick kiss to the brunette's earlobe. They pulled apart as the song ended, and Jane gave another of her signature smirks.  
"Wait for me at the bar?" Mara asked, already knowing the answer she would receive. She hurried back up to the stage and sang 10 or so more songs before the club closed.

As the bar cleared out, Jane tossed back a third beer, wondering if she should make her move on the walk to Maura's apartment.  
"Well, are you still able to escort a lady home?" Maura asked grabbing Jane's beer and finishing it off.  
"I guess." Jane muttered wanting so badly to steal the last drop of beer from Maura's lips. After all, the club was empty except for the barman, and perhaps it would be worth it to get kicked out or slapped for unwanted advances. Although with the way Maura was standing, and the way she had been behaving, Jane wouldn't exactly call them unwanted anymore.  
"Bye, Vince." Maura waved to the barman, grabbing Jane's hand. They left together, Jane's coat around Maura's cold shoulders. "How gentlemanly of you." Remarked the blonde, pulling the coat close around her.  
"I do my best, ma'am." Jane said with a sly grin, donning her hat and boldly putting her arm around Maura's waist.  
"I hope so, Jane. Really I do." They walked down a few blocks and across a couple streets, closing in on Maura's apartment. A sudden chill came over Maura, and she took Jane's hand once again. The blonde pulled the brunette into a small alleyway with a disarming smile.

"It's still my birthday, you know." She whispered backing herself up against the wall. Jane walked forward, close enough to place her hands on the wall above Maura's shoulders.  
"Yeah? I figured it might be." Jane said closing the short distance between them. Her bound chest now pressing against Maura's barely covered breasts.  
"Aren't you supposed to kiss the birthday girl?" Maura asked, lifting her lips towards Jane's.  
"Only if she knows what she's getting into."  
"I think she knows." Came the reply as Maura pressed her hips against Jane's lower body.  
"Maybe." Jane gave a smirk once more and moved in to kiss Maura's bright lips. The blonde's cheeks blushed as she crossed the small distance to Jane's lips. It was a chaste kiss at first, Jane testing Maura's limits, but as Maura began to kiss her again' this time her lips opened to Jane's tongue. They explored each other's mouths with haste, swapping each other's taste around with their tongues. Jane would get hints of red wind and jazzy songs, while Maura tasted want and beer.  
"Jane… Oh, Jane." Maura began as the brunette kissed her way around Maura's slender neck. Maura felt herself float off the ground as Jane lifted Maura by her thighs which opened to wrap themselves around the brunette's waist. Soft moans escaped Maura's lips as Janes hands ventured up Maura's dress to clasp the backs of her thighs. "Mm… Jane… I've got to… Get home."  
In each pause Jane kissed Maura's lips with languid passion. She breathed humid air onto Maura's neck letting her legs fall slowly back to the ground. Jane's hands wandered back over Maura's dress and found themselves gripping at Maura's still moving hips. With her eyes closed, her tongue pressed out between her soft lips, Maura gave a small sigh, her hips stopping their movements.  
"Jane…" The blonde said, slowly opening her honey brown eyes. "Jane, I've got to… Get home."  
"I know, Maura." Jane whispered, releasing Maura's hips and pulling back.  
"I don't want to though." She sighed, still catching her breath.  
"It's alright… I'll see you home." Jane muttered wiping her mouth with her thumb, revealing a light smear of red lipstick. "I think you left something of yours on me." Jane said, wiping the edges of Maura's smeared lipstick from the blonde's face.  
"Sorry." Maura muttered blushing.  
"I don't mind it." Jane whispered pulling Maura from against the wall.  
"So which way is home for you?" She asked dusting herself off. Maura smiled,  
"Two buildings down."  
"Cut it a bit close didn't you?" Jane asked. This time it was Maura's turn to smirk,  
"A girl's gotta give you some suspense, Jane." The blonde flattened out the wrinkles in her dress, and licked her lips. "You don't have to take me the rest of the way." Maura said about to take off Jane's suit jacket.  
"I don't mind." Jane answered back, placing an arm around the singer's waist. "Really, guide the way."  
"Alright." Maura said, pulling Jane towards her apartment. "I've got to go inside." She said as they reached a bright brick building. Jane shook her head,  
"What a shame." She muttered letting go of Maura's waist once again.  
"Oh, your jacket." Maura remembered half up the steps. She pulled it off her shoulders and met Jane at the sidewalk again.  
"Thank you." Jane said, taking the jacket and hanging it on her arm.

Neither said goodbye or waved back at the other, Jane just watched Maura walk back up the stairs and close the door. Maura looked back only once, to see Jane walking away. Jane didn't smile, she didn't click her heels or jump into the air with a triumphant yell, she simply walked home, chewing the inside of her lip as she walked. It took her nearly an hour to get back to her apartment in the eastern side of the city. But she didn't mind, all the while she walked her mind dreaming of Maura's voice moaning her name and the blonde's hips moving against her own. With nobody to bring up to her dirty apartment tonight, she simply slipped into the door and walked quietly up the stairs.  
"Mm." She muttered while she changed for bed, carefully placing her suit in the closet. Slowly she took off her bindings and looked at herself in the mirror. Jane wondered what Maura would think of her naked body.


	2. An Impolite Man & A Sleepless Night

Months passed, Jane and Maura reliving their first night with each other over and over again. On nights when Maura worked at The Dirty Robber, Jane would sit back drinking her normal three beers and waiting for Maura to take a break so they could dance. Jane would walk up to the stage to take Maura's hand as she walked down the few stairs. They became some what of a novelty at The Dirty Robber, always to be seen there on Thursday, Friday and Sunday nights. Most let them be, the Robber was a fairly tolerant club for the likes of Jane & Maura. However sometimes unwanted guests would hurl a comment or two, often resulting in their being escorted from the night club. And other times, Jane took care of it herself, which also ended in their being escorted from the night club, albeit not on their own legs. Maura always scoffed, but was often glad that Jane knew when to pick her fights.

On this occasion in particular, Jane had decided to let Vince and the rest of the guys handle any shenanigans, as it was the night she planned to invite Maura back to her apartment. The brunette didn't want anything ruining this cold Friday night. For the first few hours, everything went along as normal. Jane taking breaks from her beer to dance and Maura softly crooning when off break. However, an hour or so after midnight, in strolled an already intoxicated man- a very intoxicated man. He stood at the bar eyeing Maura in a way that Jane definitley disapproved. As the blonde singer left the stage, Jane fought through the crowd to arrive at her side, too late. The large man was already grabbing at Maura's bright red dress and trying to cop a feel here and there. The brunette lowered her hat, and approached the man.

She placed herself strategically in between he and Maura.  
"The lady doesn't want your attention, Mister. You'd do best to go on home." Jane muttered, staring up at the man with her wild, dark brown eyes. Vince Korsak, the bartender, was already moving towards the trio, knowing that no good could come of what was happening. A few regulars stood from their tables, ready to restrain either the man or Jane, whichever was needed.  
"I'm talking to the pretty lady, queer!" the man slurred angrily. "Now, get out of my way." he added, placing one hand on Jane's shoulder to push her out of the way. She budged a bit, but stood her ground as best she could.  
"I said, you'd do best to go on home, Mister." her normally sultry, rasping voice now darkened with intent. He tried to again push past the brunette, his stubby hand sitting on Maura's hip. Maura stood silent looking at Jane, hoping that she might be rescued.  
The blonde was too lady like to through a punch or kick the man. Even too lady like to demand he remove his hand, lest she scream for help. Her honeycomb eyes locked with Jane's. The raven-haired woman, pushed the man back and placed herself once again between he and Maura.  
"And I said get outta my way, QUEE-" as he yelled the slur, Jane pulled back her fist and socked him in the stomach. It stopped him for a few seconds, but apparently he was a very angry and aggressive drunk. He pulled his thoughts back together enough to catch Jane's next assault. The man pulled back his greasy, meaty hand and punched Jane square in the face, sending her crashing to the floor. Quickly, he grabbed a hold of Maura's arm, and drug her to his side.

"Jane?!" she cried out, pushing against the burly mass of a man. Jane lay on the floor, the very breath knocked clean out of her. Vince and three other men, stepped forward. One separating Maura from the man and the others pushing him away from the bar and dance floor. Vince took the man's arm and began dragging him towards the exit. The man screamed out,  
"I'll get you, bitch! You fuckin' queer!" his words echoing out the entrance as they slung him to the cobblestones outside.  
"You'd best go home, Sir. Don't want to have to call the authorities." Vince said, the large door attendant staring the man down.  
"I'll get her, her and that other bitch!" the man threatened with a slur in his voice. He kept mumbling under his breath as he walked away, every now and then yelling one obscenity or other. The crew went inside, to find Maura and several other ladies crowded around Jane, who was now standing at the bar, an annoyed look on her face.

"I said, I'm fine. Ladies please. Vince, tell 'em I'm fine." Jane called out throwing a hand up in desperation.  
"Ladies, please, don't crowd the bar." the barman sighed shaking his head. He threw a hand at the pianist to begin playing, and the beaus all came, taking their girls by the hand and bringing them to the dance floor. Vince produced a cloth with a few pieces of ice for Rizzoli's face.  
"You gotta quit messing with the drunk guys, Rizzoli." the stout man said, rubbing at his salt and pepper hair and beard.  
"They start it, Korsak." came the reply, as Maura took the ice from Jane's hands and placed the ready-made ice pack on Jane's left eye and nose, where the swelling had started.  
"Are you alright, Jane? Oh, goodness I'm so sorry. You needant bother protecting me, that's what we have the men for." Maura said in a rush, her cheeks flushing as Jane put her hand over the blonde's.  
"It seemed to me, that a man was the problem. No offence meant to you, Vince." the brunette scoffed.  
"Get on back up there and sing, Maura. You don't need to worry about me."  
"Nah, both of you, get on home. Berol can handle the rest of the night on his own. It's almost closing time anways." Vince said, he motioned to Jane and wiped his thumb across his lip. "You're a bit roughed up, y'know." The brunette, drug her finger across her bottom lip and winced a bit. Yep, the ass had busted her lip. Now she'd probably have a black eye, busted lip and swollen nose and possibly a bruised back.  
"Yeah, I reckon, I could go ahead and walk you home, Maura." Maura tilted her head and gave a sad smile.  
"Alright, Jane." the blonde said, taking Jane awkwardly by the hand.  
They each said a quick thanks to Vince and waved to Barold, the young, black pianist, and headed out into the streets. As they began walking, Jane took the lead, tossing the now melting ice aside into the gutter.  
"You know I hate when you do that, Jane." Maura scolded.  
"Yeah, but he was asking for it anyways. His paws all over you like that." Jane said, wrapping her arm around Maura's shoulder. Tonight, they didn't sneak into an alleyway or stop underneath a balcony to talk. They walked silently to Maura's apartment, Jane chewing on the inside of her swelling cheek and Maura silently working up her courage for what was to come next.  
As they reached the steps of Maura's apartment building, Maura turned to look Jane straight in the face.  
"You know, you could... I mean, you're hurt and all... you live so far across town..." she stuttered through the words, not wanting to sound toward.  
"Are you asking me up?" Jane said, a smirk returning to her face.  
"Well, yes." Maura admitted, "But, only cause you're hurt." she blushed.  
"Alright." Jane said warily. She didn't want to assume, but things were looking up for the night she had previously planned.

They quietly walked up two flights of steps to room 12, a small three room apartment with mix-match furniture adorning the cold wood floors.  
"This probably isn't a very impressive place, is it?" Maura said, twisting her thumb in her hand as she bit the side of her lip. "I wasn't expecting comp-"  
"It's wonderful, Maura." Jane smiled. The apartment was more than Jane had, and she was glad Maura was able to live as well as she did. "Really wonderful." she finished, standing in the door way.  
"Well, come sit down. I'll get you some water. Do you need more ice; I have a little, but not much?" Maura said quickly, closing the door behind Jane. The brunette sat down onto a love seat with the stuffing nearly completely gone.  
"No ice, I'll be fine. Maybe some coffee if you have any?" she craned her neck to look into the tiny kitchen, watching Maura search for a glass.  
"I only have tea." the blonde said with a slight frown.  
"Ah, I'll be fine, you don't need to get me anything." Jane said, leaning back against the back of the seat, then wincing as her back screeched at her brain. Maura ran to her side, sitting next to her on the loveseat.

"Are you alright? Oh gosh, I'm so very sorry, Jane."  
"Stop apologizing, it's alright. It's probably just a bruise." Jane replied trying to find a position that didn't spark pain in her backbone.  
"Well, at least let me check it. You might need a doctor." Maura quietly said, beginning to untuck the grey shirt from Jane's dark pants.  
"I, uh, I can get it Maura." Jane said standing. She untucked her shirt and unbuttoned her vest so that the blonde could lift up the back of her top. Carefully, hesitantly Maura pulled the shirt up. It revealed a swollen back, already turning dark purple and black in an oval pattern, which was partially hidden underneath Jane's bindings.  
"Is it bad?" Jane asked, holding the front of her shirt down.  
"I just... need to get a clear look." the singer whispered, pulling off Jane's vest slowly.  
"I'll be fine, you don't have to..." Maura held up a hand and hushed the brunette. Her small hands slowly undoing the top buttons of Jane's oxford shirt. As she reached Jane's chest, the deep brown eyes faltered and a hand came up to stop her. "Please-" Jane began, holding Maura's hand in hers.  
"It's okay." Maura said, continuing to undo the small white buttons. Jane had been undressed before, heck she'd been undressed by plenty of women, but this was different. It'd never been done so slowly, so reverently, it was unnerving.

Maura undid the last buttons and walked around to pull the shirt off of Jane's shoulders. The blonde laid the shirt neatly beside the vest and placed her hand on the bruise forming on Jane's back. Jane hissed a bit, but held still as Maura ran her fingers lightly over the swollen skin. With deft hands, the blonde began to pull at the layers of Jane's binding. However, Jane couldn't bear the thought of it, not now while she was hurt and weak.  
"Maura," she said turning to face the woman she'd grown to care so much for. "I don't think we should-"  
The blonde closed her eyes and began kissing Jane's shoulder and neck, reverantly making her way to the brunette's full lips. Jane groaned as Maura placed a hand on her waist and pulled their bodies together, hips to hips. Jane could hardly stop herself, she began to deepen the kiss, letting her tongue venture into Maura's mouth slowly. But when Maura placed her hands on Jane's back, and pressed into the skin there, Jane winced and pulled back from the kiss. Realizing what she had done, Maura blushed and stepped back.  
"Jane, I'm-"  
"No more apologies. I'd best go home now." the brunette gave a small smile and grabbed for her shirt and vest.  
"Why don't you stay, here? I mean, I have blankets and the loveseat is comfortable. And it's very late, you never know who might be-" Maura was interrupted by a knock at the door.  
"Ms. Isles... Are you alright... we thought we heard voices..." her nosy male neighbor had been trying for months to gain Maura's interest to no avail. The blonde went to the door, biting at her lip.  
"Yes, I'm fine, Mr. Rockmund. I was just talking to myself while I was cleaning." the singer lied, hives beginning to form on her chest and tears in her eyes. The man bid his farewell and Maura waited until she heard the door across the hall close before she spoke to Jane, very quietly this time.

"I'll get you some blankets and..." she sniffled wiping away a tear.  
"Why are you crying, are you alright?" Jane asked, walking towards Maura.  
"Yes, I'll be fine. I just don't lie very well, sometimes it makes me faint, but I'll be alright." Maura said walking into the kitchen to grab a towel to wipe her eyes.  
"I'll stay." Jane said in a simple manner. "I mean, where are the blankets? I could get them and..." she hated to see Maura crying, it felt so aweful for Jane, so foreign.  
"Nonsense. I'll get them. I've just got to go into the closet for them. I'll be right back." Maura replied disappearing behind her bedroom door. The brunette quickly put her shirt back on, but left her vest laying on the back of the loveseat.  
"Here we are." Maura said, emerging from behind the once again closed door. Jane watched as Maura carefully made up the loveseat placing a soft pillow at one end for Jane to sleep comfortably.

Quietly, so as not to disturb the neighbors, Jane thanked Maura and bid her a goodnight. The brunette and blonde both stayed up unable to sleep. Thinking of how the night had gone, and how they had hoped it would go. When Maura awoke, she rushed into the living room, hoping it hadn't been a dream. On the loveseat laid the pillow and blankets, stacked and neatly folded, she sighed and went to fix her morning tea. Sitting on the table was a small note, from Jane.  
It read,  
_Maura,__  
__Thank you for letting me stay and being so kind to me. I will see you at The Robber again. _  
_Sorry if I wake you when I leave. I need to be getting back home.__  
__With My Affections,_  
_Jane_

Maura held the note to her chest and smiled, it wasn't a dream. Thank God, it had been real. She quietly folded the note and hid it among the bags of tea in the cupboard.


	3. A Love Affair & Note

Weeks passed, Jane's eye turned from black to purple to yellow, slowly healing and regaining its usual wild gaze. Her back quickly healed as well, leaving only the faintest reminder when she would hit a seat back. Rizzoli would never complain though, she thought of her injuries as a badge of honor. After all standing up for a woman she had grown to care for deeply, was nothing if not honorable- maybe a bit stupid for the situation, but honorable nonetheless. After Maura would finish for the night, they'd escape into the alleyway behind The Dirty Robber and kiss each other until they were both breathless and seeing stars. Jane would walk Maura home, but the invitation to come up never came again.  
As the last bit of bruising faded from Jane's back she hesitantly decided to invite Maura back to her place, hoping this time might work out in her favor. Things passed as usual at the bar- Jane drank her three beers, Maura sang the jazzy songs everyone loved and they danced until the bar closed.  
Finally the moment came, they walked out of the Robber, and Maura began walking ahead of Jane, heading towards their usual route. The brunette cleared her throat and watched, captivated, as the blonde swirled to face her.

"Maura," she began, pulling together her normal confidence and swagger, "I'd like it if you'd come see where I live. Maybe stay the night, if you like?" Jane said, walking up to Maura with charm in each step. The blonde knew what this meant, knew that she might be getting herself in too deep, but she had wanted more since that night at her apartment. She wanted so much more that it often scared her, how easily she would become flushed at the mere thought of that night.

"Alright." Maura said quietly, giving Jane one of her smiles. Jane smiled back, and whistled for one of the taxis sitting outside the bar to drive up. She'd been saving her money and could finally afford the fare to her apartment for once.

"Yes, Missus." The cab driver replied as Jane scooted in and muttered her address through the window. Maura sat beside Jane, careful not to sit to close, as they didn't know the cab driver. It would be best for both of them if they did not get kicked out onto the road. The ride was uncomfortable and awkward, both of the women thinking of the other and what was to come, but neither able to act on their feelings as of yet. As they pulled up to a shabby apartment building, Jane tapped on the glass and handed the cabbie the fare.  
"Thank you." She said quietly as Maura exited the cab. The cab drove off and Jane stood beside Maura with a nervous smile.  
"It's not very fancy, but it's home." Jane commented, wrapping her arm around Maura's waist and pulling her inside. As soon as the large door shut behind them, their lips crashed together. The blonde let her arms hang loosely around Jane's neck, while the brunette took hold of Maura's waist. They hit the walls as they went up the steps, and Jane was thankful once again that her neighbors had grown used the sounds echoing up the stair case. Finding their way up the stairs as quickly as they could manage they stopped on the fifth floor, Jane fumbling with her key as Maura began kissing her neck.  
"Ugh, Maura," Jane groaned finally opening the door. They spilled into the single room apartment, Jane quickly shedding her jacket and vest while Maura stripped off her coat.  
"Jane…" Maura began, crashing into the other woman again. Amidst kisses and caresses, they each spoke each other's name, moaning them out like music from their throats.  
"Maura… I want you, Maura." Jane muttered, quickly but carefully unzipping Maura's dress. They pulled apart for a moment, each shedding their outer layers, leaving them in only their undergarments. Maura finished first, and drug Jane to the rusted, queen bed. All the inhibitions and hesitancy left the blonde, and she quickly removed her bra, laying a hand on Jane's chest to steady herself. The bindings were still on Jane, so Maura let her hand pull at the end of the cloth trying to divest the brunette of them. Jane pulled up a hand, with a sad smile.  
"Not tonight." Came the answer, as she took Maura's mouth into her own, softly biting on the blonde's lower lip. "You're gorgeous, Maura." She continued, kissing down the blonde's neck and chest. Jane took one breast into her mouth smothering it with kisses, and let her hand massage the other. Maura's head was thrown back and she moaned out Jane's name, holding onto the other woman's shoulders, her nails digging into the flesh as she felt the pleasure rush up her chest. Jane gave a slight moan, and wrapped her hand in Maura's long blonde tresses bringing her into a heated kiss. The blonde woman undid the pins in her lover's hair and let the dark, curly hair fall around Jane's shoulders.  
"Jane?" Maura said surprised at how feminine the brunette looked with her hair down, how regal and stunning.  
"Maura, what is it?" she asked kissing, biting and sucking on her love's neck. Carefully, she brought Maura underneath her and straddled the woman's hips.  
"Jane, you're… you're beautiful." Maura gasped as Jane began to rub her palm at the blonde's center, feeling her slickness through the silky fabric of her underwear.  
"You're breathtaking, Maura." Replied Jane, removing the last layer of Maura's clothing. Once again Maura gasped, grinding her hips into Jane's boxer-clad leg. Jane smiled at her lover's reaction, completely captivated with every breath that the blonde took. Jane couldn't shake the feeling that she wanted to responsible for every moan, whimper, gasp and shiver that Maura had for the rest of time.  
"Maura, Maura… oh damn, Maura." Jane groaned as Maura moved her leg against Jane's slick center, her wetness showing through her boxers. Each moved against the other's leg dragging their clit's along each other's thigh, leaving shining streaks of sweat and translucent juices.  
"Jane, please." Maura moaned, sitting up and wrapping her legs around Jane bringing them closer together. Their chests pressed together and they enveloped each other in kisses, arms and legs. "Please…" said the blonde breathlessly.  
Jane left one hand on Maura's back to help support her as she clung to the brunette's shoulders. Her other hand raked its fingers down Maura's torso and slipped between their intertwined legs. After dragging her fingers through Maura's wet lips a few times, Jane slowly entered her. Easing a second finger inside as Maura moved against her palm, the blonde moaned mindlessly, gasps mixed in with an endless string of 'Jane, Please,More.'  
"Shh, Maura." Jane whispered hotly into the blonde's ear, she began to speed up, hitting the spot that made Maura collapse around her fingers each time. Soon Maura's body went rigid then limp around Jane's hand. Jane let her fall down to the bed lightly.  
"Mmm, Jane, I-"  
"I know, Maura." Jane replied licking her fingers clean. With each deep, ragged breath, Jane's ribs pulsed through her chest. For the first time, Maura could clearly see where no less than three ribs were deformed, she guessed from being broken and then healing incorrectly.

"Jane…" Maura said sadly placing her hand over the brunette's ribs, "Are you alright?"  
"Never better." Jane answered trying to avoid the subject that had caused her so much grief. The last thing she wanted to be right now was weak.  
"But what happened?"  
"Another time, perhaps. Please, Maura." Jane said sternly, lying down beside the blonde.  
"Alright... as long as you're sure you're-"  
"Maura, I just had the most perfect moment, with the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Let's not spoil the memory with sad things." Jane said, placing her hand on Maura's still flushed cheek.

With that single touch, the mood changed once again. Now everything was hushed and done slowly. Each touch was timed and thought out in earnest. Jane slowly, but deeply, kissed Maura, swallowing each moan like air. For her part, Maura could only lay there mesmerized by every movement and shudder of Jane's body. Her hands wandered up and down Jane's back gently, gripping at her shoulders when Jane would move quickly and then slow down once again. The brunette broke their deep kiss to meticulously kiss down the length of Maura's body.

"Oh, Maura. Maura." Jane moaned before burying her tongue into the blonde's folds. The blonde simply wrapped her fingers in Jane's dark curls and moaned her hips moving in time with Jane's ministrations.  
"Jane… Jane!" Maura cried out in warning, her hands now gripping at the light cotton sheets. Jane continued her attentions, wanting nothing more than to taste Maura's deepest essence.  
"Come on, Maura. Please." Jane begged lightly, before continuing lapping at the blonde's center. With jerky movements, Maura's toes curled and her thighs clenched together, her back arching as she came again to Jane's deft movements. After every twitch and whimper exited Maura's body, Jane sat up, wiping her mouth with the backside of her hand. "Maura, you're magnificent." Jane said, crawling up the blonde's body to give her another deep kiss. Maura could taste bits of herself on Jane's lips, and began wondering silently what Jane would taste like.

Maura stayed until the sun came up in the apartment's only window. Jane was passed out on the bed, as Maura stood up, the bed creaking under her shifting weight. She knew that she should have left earlier, but Jane had been sleeping so soundly and Maura really did not want to leave. She gathered her clothes, slowly putting on the dress and then her coat. She found some paper and wrote a quick message to Jane, and then left. Like Cinderella she'd left a single piece of clothing behind, so when Jane awakened to her empty arms, she looked up at the bed frame to see Maura's pale bra lying on the edge of the frame. Jane let a smirk creep across her face, and she pulled herself up slowly, her back aching a bit from the previous night's exertions. The brunette stood and made herself some coffee, finding Maura's note with a smile. A simple,  
"Hope to see tonight at the Robber. Sincerely, Maura." Jane laughed lightly and yawned taking a sip of her coffee.

But Jane did not see Maura that night at The Dirty Robber, or the next night or the next. Two weeks passed, and all Vince would tell Jane was that Maura was sick, and didn't want any visitors.


	4. Tears & Bruises

**Trigger Warning: Assault on a Woman and Implied Rape**

* * *

Jane worried more and more each day, but all she could get out of Vince was the same thing over and over. Nearly three weeks after they'd slept together, Jane came to the Robber early one night, intent on getting more information out of that damned bartender. Had she done something wrong? Was Maura not ready for what they had done? Was the blonde truly sick this whole time, and why wouldn't she take any visitors? She entered the bar, waving away the coat attendant who wanted her jacket.  
"I'll keep it on, thanks." Jane muttered, looking inside, and seeing that oh so familiar wavy blonde haired woman sitting at the bar, a glass of water in her hand. Jane sauntered over, determined not to be angry with Maura, but to show how concerned she'd been.

"I thought you were more of a red wine type of girl." Jane's husky voice left her mouth and traveled to Maura's ear, sending a chill of remembrance up her spine.  
"Jane?" Maura asked from below a large black hat that shaded her face. "I… you don't get here until later… why are you here?"  
"I've been looking for you, Maura. You said, we'd see each other at the robber that night. Where have you been? Are you alright?" Jane rambled on, not noticing the obvious signs.  
"Jane, stop, please. I'm fine, I just… think it would be best… for both our sakes… no… I just can't see you anymore, Jane." Maura whispered, tears forming in the corners of her eyes.  
"Hey!" Jane said as Maura got up and started to walk towards the exit. She ran ahead of Maura and stopped the blonde, taking a light hold on her arm.  
"Jane, please, don't. You're hurting me." A quizzical look pierced Jane's stoic face.  
"Something is wrong, I know it is. Come here, we can talk. Please." It was then that the brunette noticed that Maura still had on her large trench coat, the edges of it dripping dry from the rain outside. "Maura, you'll get sick again. Come on, take that off." Jane continued, moving closer to the blonde.  
"Jane, please, no." came the reply as Maura quickly headed out the back door of the bar.

For a moment, Vince stood in between Jane and the door, but after a knowing glance and a word, he moved knowing Maura would need the other woman.  
"Maura?" Jane said, bits of rain dropping onto her jacket.  
"Jane?" came the sobbing cry from deeper in the alley. "I can't Jane. I can't, please."  
"Tell me what is wrong, why are you wearing that ridiculous hat?" she asked taking the wretched thing off of Maura's still shining golden hair. Maura looked away from Jane quickly, frustrated and upset. "Look at me, Maura." Jane said quietly, gently moving the blonde's chin so that she faced the brunette. "Maura! What the hell, Maura?! Who did that to you, I'll kill 'em! I swear to God I will!"  
"Shh, please, Jane. I'm begging you, don't do anything like that. He was just angry because… I shouldn't have…" Maura broke down sobbing once again. It was only now, under the glow of the street lamps that Jane could clearly see the bruised cheek, broken nose and eyes, red and swollen from crying. She suspected that there was worse damage elsewhere, and continued swearing aloud. Maura couldn't take Jane's cursing, it sounded so angry and she became so scared, it nearly sent her back into shock.

"Maura, I'm so sorry!" Jane said upon seeing the look on the blonde's face. "Come with me we're going. You don't need to be out here in this rain, you could get sick." Maura pleaded with Jane to let her stay there in the alleyway longer, but Jane wouldn't budge. She took Maura's hand, the bones in the blonde's wrist shifting as Maura cried out. "Oh, Maura. Baby, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Jane said pausing and hugging Maura softly in her arms. The blonde bit her lip, pain still radiating from her wrist. "Come on, I'm taking you home." Jane muttered, brushing away a few strands of Maura's hair from her pale face.  
"Alright…" Maura said, giving in to Jane. She knew she couldn't go back to her apartment, and what's more she didn't want to go back. Jane whistled for a cab, never taking her arm from around Maura's waist. She silently dared the cabbie to pick a fight with her tonight, dared him to say one word to them.  
"It's gonna be okay, Maura. I promise." Jane said, wanting to comfort Maura, but not really knowing how.

The cab drive was like the last they'd spent together, long and awkward. Jane got out first, paid the fare and rushed to help Maura out of her side. The pair silently walked up the steps, neither thinking of their last encounter in the stairwell or even the love they'd made in the apartment. As the door closed behind them, Jane walked Maura to the bed, and told her to rest.  
"Do you mind water? I wish I had some tea or something, but I only drink coffee." Jane asked looking across the room to Maura who sat crying into her palms on the bed. The brunette left the water on the counter and crouched down in front of Maura. "What can I do? Please Maura tell me what to do." Jane pleaded, taking Maura's hands into her own. She held them gingerly, remembering the injured wrist. "Here. Let me wrap your wrist." She said, unbuttoning her vest and shirt. Jane laid them both to the side and began unraveling her cloth bindings. No longer filled with self-conscious fears, only care and worry for Maura, Jane crouched back down, her breasts completely exposed. It was now that the blonde saw why Jane had been hesitant to be seen. Scars splayed across her chest and breasts, burned into Maura's memory. She reached out her uninjured hand to trail across a large scar across the top of Jane's right breast. As Jane felt the movement she ceased wrapping Maura's wrist and stood up abruptly. The brunette put on her shirt and buttoned it back up.  
"A story for another night. Tonight is about making you as comfortable as you can be." Jane said, finishing the wrapping with a knot.  
"Did that hurt?" she asked, placing her hand on Maura's coat covered knee.  
"Only a little." She answered quietly, taking Jane's hand; she stood up bringing Jane up with her. "Would you mind?" Maura asked, motioning to her coat.

Jane undid the buttons, and turned the blonde to slip it off her shoulders. With Maura's shoulders and arms now exposed, Jane nearly cried at the purple and red handprints up and down Maura's exposed skin. Maura could see Jane swallow hard, knowing that her rage was building once again.  
"Jane, please, stay here, with me. Don't think about anything else." Maura asked with a sad smile on her face. "Could you get me a shirt, and maybe some bottoms?" The blonde wondered aloud snapping Jane out of her stare.  
"Yeah. I've got a couple extra." She walked to the large dresser and pulled out a plain white shirt and white boxers. Maura had already unzipped her dress and was pulling it down when Jane came to her side with the clothes. A clear boot print was visible on Maura's back, and several other bruises some fading others newly made. "Maura…" Jane whispered, her hand making its way down her lover's back, taking the dress with her. Handprints layered over handprints adorned the blonde's hip, thankfully they were not as new as some, but they concerned Jane more than any of the others. Maura sat down on the bed shedding the dress from her legs. Jane carefully, undid the clasps at the back of Maura's bra. The straps and cups of which held more bruised flesh, anger stung at Jane's heart once more, but she willed it away.  
"Maura…" Jane whispered again, her hand gently traveling down her lover's bruised arms. "Never again. I'll never let anything like this happen again." She swore, kissing Maura's neck and shoulders.

"Jane," the blonde's breath caught in her throat, tears forming in her eyes as Jane laid her down on the bed. Jane kissed every bruise with a sweet gentility, every once in a while, a tear would drop onto Maura's skin. Neither said anything, Jane just finished with a last kiss to each hip, and crawled up to lay beside Maura.  
"I'm so sorry, Maura." She said, laying her hand on Maura's. "I should have come to see you. I should have known."  
"It's not your fault, Jane." The blonde assured her lover, holding their hands together with her injured one.  
"Then tell me, whose is it? Please, I won't kill them. I'll just tell them to stay away. I don't want them near you ever again."  
"In the morning… I'm so tired, Jane." She said scooting to lie against Jane's chest. The brunette softly laid her arm around the blonde.  
"Alright… you can sleep, Maura." Jane whispered, giving her lover's forehead a chaste kiss.

The pair fell asleep together, in the light of a single candle, which burnt out halfway through the night. Maura woke up screaming in a cold sweat around 4 o-clock in the morning. Jane gently wrapped her arms around the now sobbing blonde and comforted her until she fell back asleep. By 6, Maura had woken three more times, but it finally seemed to have subsided. Jane slid off the bed, careful not to wake Maura. The brunette tucked in her shirt and left a note on the table before exiting the apartment.

By the time Jane got back to the apartment, Maura was already awake, pacing up and down the floor. She'd finally put on the now wrinkled men's shirt and boxers and was clutching Jane's crumpled note in her hands. As the door opened, Maura took a few steps back, afraid that he had found her.  
"Maura?" came the voice, as Jane walked in with a paper sack filled with food and tea. "Maura, it's okay. It's just me," the brunette woman said, seeing the look of panic in her lover's eyes.  
"Jane, I was so worried. I thought you'd gone to… and when you weren't here…" Maura's shoulders fell in defeat; it was just too much for that early in the morning. It had been much too much a long time ago. Jane sat the groceries down and grabbed the single kitchen chair for Maura to sit in. "I left you a note, Maura." Jane said, taking the crumpled piece of paper from Maura's hand.  
"I know, but something bad-"  
"Nothing. Nothing bad is going to happen, Maura. Not anymore." Jane caressed Maura's cheek and kissed her head once more. "If you can, will you tell me who did this? I swear I won't kill him. I'm just going to take Vince and some of the guys and go talk to him." Jane asked, trying to assure the blonde that she wouldn't do anything too risky. Maura shook her head, but when she looked up into Jane's eyes her mouth opened slowly,  
"It was… Rockmund… my neighbor…" she swallowed hard, tears coming to her eyes.  
"Maura… if he… if he did what I think… the police could do something." Jane muttered as much as she hated the police, they had to do something where such cruelty was concerned.  
"No, Jane, don't. He knows… that's why he…" Maura began crying and shaking, unable to stop herself. "He knows about us, he'll tell them that it was you… and then…" she couldn't bear to think of losing Jane, much less knowing that it would be her fault.  
"Well, that doesn't change a damned thing. I'm taking you to The Dirty Robber, then Vince and I and a few others are planning to go talk to him." Jane answered back. "Don't worry, Maura. Everything is going to be okay."


	5. A Threat & A Promise

Maura sat quietly at the closed bar. Jane had gone to confront_ him_. The blonde anxiously twisted her hands together, causing her wrist to shoot pain up her arm. She hoped it wouldn't be as bad as she thought it might be, but more than that Maura hoped that Jane return to her safe, without any injuries.

Two blocks down in the bright brick building, Jane entered Maura's apartment with the key she'd been given. The place was in complete disarray, cups and plates smashed, furniture torn apart and everything in the cupboard was thrown on the floor.  
Hesitantly, Jane stepped into Maura's bedroom. The sheets were all thrown off the bed and there were bits of blood on them. Rage sparked inside Jane, and she quickly gathered all the clothes from Maura's closet. She threw them haphazardly on the bed, and went across the hallway, where Vince and a few other guys had Rockmund by the arms; each of them take turns throwing punches.  
"Get him on the floor." Jane said, clearly in a state of fury. Rockmund fell to the ground on his hands and his knees. As he started to get back up, Jane heaved her foot back and kicked him square in the jaw.  
"That's for Maura." she screamed, spitting on the man. She took her foot back to kick the man again, but Vince held her back. "If you ever even look at her again, I'll kill you, you fucking pig!" Jane yelled, fighting Korsak to get another hit in.  
"That's enough, Jane." the bartender said, pulling her out the door and into Maura's apartment. "Rizzoli! Stop." he repeated as Jane pushed at his shoulders trying to get by him.  
When he yelled out, Jane stood still, her face scrunched up in anger.  
"You didn't see it, Korsak! You didn't see what all he did. What that fucking pig did!" Jane screamed, pushing into Vince Korsak once more.  
"I know, I know, but we're here for Maura's things. You don't need to get mixed up in this part. It's better if you go ahead and leave." he said placing his hands on her shoulders to hold her in place. "I'll send Barold back with you to make sure you get back to Maura." Vince insisted, calling for the younger man to escort Jane and Maura's things back to the club.

They walked back in silence, Jane trying to calm herself and Barold wondering if it was as bad as Korsak said it was, or worse.  
Jane shook off the last bits of anger, and entered the bar with a stoic expression.  
"We brought back some of your clothes and things. If you need more, we can send Vince and Barold back to get anything you need." she said, placing a quick kiss on Maura's head.  
The blonde looked up at Jane, teary-eyed,  
"You didn't kill him, did you?" Maura asked unsure if she wanted to know the answer.  
"I only kicked him once, so no, I did not kill him." Jane said, holding back the part about swearing to kill him should he ever come close to Maura again. The pair waited at the bar for Vince and the rest of the men to return. It was only an hour or so later that the boys made it back- a couple with bloody knuckles much to Jane's amusement and Maura's horror.

Before opening, Vince told the pair of women, that he would rent out the apartment above the nightclub to them as it was safer and closer to work for Maura, without having to go back to her apartment.  
"It doesn't come with any furnishings, so you'll have to buy that yourselves, but since you work here, I'll give you a bargain on rent. Rizzoli, if you need, I can get you a job around here. It won't be fun, but it'll pay." Korsak had grown a heart for the two women. They were quite the cute couple, and he always had a soft spot for his bar crew.  
"Will I have to wear a skirt at this job?" Jane asked, knowing that most jobs required women to be in a blouse and skirt uniform.  
"No, you'll be working at the dock, so it'd be best if you wear the pants." he added.  
"Well, I'll take the job, if Maura will agree to the apartment." Jane said matter-of-factly taking a side glance at her lover.  
"I can't thank you enough, Vince." Maura said, leaning over the bar and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. "That would be wonderful." She grasped Jane's hand with her own and gave a knowing smile.  
"Then it's a yes all-around, Korsak." Jane said extending her hand to the burly man. He gave it a great shake and handed over the keys; pointing in the direction of the door to the stairs.  
"Oh, there is an old couch, though. Could never figure how to get the damn thing through the stairs." Vince said, mostly to himself as the girls had already headed towards the door, jingling the keys.

Over the next few weeks, they worked on bringing a couple more things from Maura's apartment including the loveseat. Maura's bed was nicer than Jane's, but she couldn't bear the thought of sleeping on it again, after all that had happened.

They hired a truck with some help from Korsak and brought all of Jane's things to the new apartment, it was shaping up to be a nice enough place. After all the arranging and rearranging was done, it looked very nice indeed. Together they sat on the loveseat, looking around the first room until they met each other's eyes.  
Maura's cheek was still lightly red, and a few of the bruises were still healing up, but the worst was Maura's wrist. It had been wrapped well enough, but the bones were still shifting in and out. They didn't have the money for a doctor, and it would lead to questions that didn't need answering.  
Jane, who had some experience with broken bones, assured Maura that the less she used it the better off she'd be.

Still as they sat there in their apartment, together, knowing that for now things were good and would be good for a while. Jane couldn't help but give Maura one of her sultry looks, and Maura, although blushing, couldn't help but kiss Jane in their new home.  
"It's ours." Jane said with a small smile.  
"Ours." Maura repeated her lips caressing the words as if it was a lover. Jane kissed Maura back, and the pair immediately began laying back on the loveseat.  
"Did I ever… tell you… that this seat isn't very comfortable… at all?" Jane said in between heated kisses and loving whispers.  
"We should-" Maura began, moaning as Jane began caressing the skin on her neck with her bold lips. "…go to our bed."  
"Hmph, there it is again, ours." Jane muttered, picking Maura up so that the blonde's thighs wrapped around Jane's waist, her arms locking around Jane's neck as she continued a battery of kisses from Jane's face to chin to neck.  
Jane groaned and pressed Maura up against the door to the bedroom. Jane fumbled with the door knob as Maura ground her hips against the brunette.  
"Jane, hurry." Maura pleaded, biting where Jane's neck and shoulder met.

Finally, the door knob gave way, and Jane stumbled into the room, nearly dropping the blonde woman in her arms.  
Maura slid down Jane's legs and sat on the creaking bed, taking off her shoes and began unzipping her dress. However, the brunette had already kicked off her boots and she straddled Maura's legs, both women fully clothed as Jane pushed Maura down to the bed, and began caressing her hips and kissing up her thighs. Without any warning, Jane emerged from between Maura's legs and took her lover into a seemingly endless kiss. Their tongues crashed together and each swallowed the moans and whispered affections of the other. Quickly, Jane slipped her hand underneath the golden tea length dress and pushed the cloth barrier out of the way. The brunette cupped the blonde's sex in her palm causing Maura to move against her hand and plead for more.  
Jane dipped a finger inside of the other woman's slick lips and teasingly moved her palm against Maura's bundle of nerves.  
"Jane…JaneJane, please." Maura begged bucking her hips towards the deft hands that consumed her world.  
"Mm… Maura you're so special." Jane said biting her lip as she savored the moment. Slowly she pressed another finger inside, and began a slow pace with her hand, using the other to bring Maura's face up to her neck.  
Jane now had the blonde straddling her leg, the brunette's hand buried deep in Maura.  
"More, Jane!" said the singer, frustrated that Jane had stopped her movements. The shorter of the two women began pumping her hips up and down on Jane's fingers which curled on every upward movement. Soon Maura's voice was lifted and moaning loud, pleading for more and more of Jane.  
"Shh…" Jane said with a small laugh. She loved to hear how Maura wanted her, but wasn't sure if she wanted the entire bar to know as well.  
"Jane, I need you." The blonde continued pleading her movements slowing but increasing in intensity. The brunette let her husky, sensual voice reassure Maura and hush her at the same time.  
"I need you, too, Maura." Jane let the words slip from her mouth as she gently laid Maura on the bed, careful not to hurt her still bruised back. She began moving her fingers inside her lover and let her thumb graze across Maura's clit on each stroke. As Jane hit the spot inside of Maura that made her shiver and jolt, she began to smile and kiss Maura, drowning out her moans and pleas.  
Moments later, Jane felt Maura clench around her fingers and gave the blonde a kiss to the temple as her body went stiff and her back arched in pleasure.  
"That's it, Maura. Let go, love." Jane coached, pulling her fingers away from Maura's hot sex.  
The brunette slipped her fingers into her mouth and sucked them dry, with a satisfied smile. She collapsed next to Maura who had a wicked smirk across her face.

Still catching her breath she moved her good hand towards Jane's shirt, undoing the buttons as best she could manage.  
"Do you want some help, Ms. Isles?" Jane said teasingly, running her hand through Maura's bright, honey colored hair.  
"No, I want you naked." She smiled, pursing her lips as she unzipped Jane's pants.  
Jane lifted her hips off the bed, letting Maura pull the pants down her legs and over her feet. The brunette sat up on the bed, removing her vest and shirt, giving Maura a moment to pull the dress over her head. As Jane removed Maura's black bra, Maura busied herself with removing Jane's bindings. This time the brunette woman gave no resistance, all she wanted was more of Maura, regardless of all else.  
"Maura," Jane gasped as the blonde slipped her hand beneath the band of Jane's white boxers. The shorter woman gave a smirk as she slid her hand through Jane's sex, collecting the brunette's wetness with her fingers. "God, Maura." Jane muttered, her back arching off the bed slightly. Maura bent down and began kissing her lover's scarred chest. With each worshipful kiss, the blonde sent her fingers inside of Jane, and then removed them as she went to kiss another scar.  
"Jane, my Jane…" Maura whispered pressing her lips against her lover's breast. She slipped her fingers back into Jane's sex and pulled Jane up so that now Jane's legs were wrapped around Maura.  
"Please, Maura. M-Maura…" Jane whimpered breathlessly as the blonde began to quicken the pace, dragging her fingers down with each stroke.  
Within moments, Jane began moving her hips against Maura, wanting more and more.  
"I like you like this." Maura whispered, picking up the pace once again. Jane matched her in enthusiasm and soon came into Maura's palm. The brunette held herself upright against the blonde slowly collecting her thoughts and breath as Maura pulled her fingers away. Jane took Maura's hand in hers and began licking and sucking on the blonde's fingers. The singer could not believe the eroticism of the moment, watching her love suck on each digit thrilled Maura to no end. Her moans quickened as Jane brought her into a kiss, Jane's taste now on both their tongues.

"Maura…" Jane whispered as they broke the kiss.  
"Yes, Jane?" Maura said her body shivering a bit as Jane moved beneath her.  
"I want you to know, I care about you a great deal." Jane quickly threw the words out, not one for emotional confessions.  
"I care for you, as well." Maura answered as they began another round of heated kisses.


	6. A Bath & A Love

**Trigger Warning: Implied Rape in Flashback**

* * *

Things finally seemed to be going Jane's way, she no longer had to clean houses and she had a woman that she cared about so intensely she was wondering if she could call it love. Finally, she felt like she had a purpose and someone to share her life with. Maura had been getting worse, though. She was no longer interested in Jane. The blonde could barely stand kissing Jane without sobbing and curling into a ball. Her wrist had finally healed, but her mind was still tormented by Rockmund's abuse. Night terrors plagued her sleep and her waking hours were filled with disgust for herself. Jane noticed more than once, Maura's bright red skin after bathing from trying to scrub the memory of what had been done to her away. However, Maura wouldn't speak to Jane about it. She'd just shake her head and look away. Jane worried that if Maura didn't talk about it, it would only serve to destroy her more and more.

"Maura..." Jane muttered quietly, brushing away the honey blonde hair from her love's face. It was clear from the blonde's distorted and pained look that she was having another nightmare.  
"Maura!" Jane said once more, louder. Tears began falling from the still closed golden-brown eyes, and Jane knew she'd have to wake her somehow before the screams began. Hesitantly, the brunette put her hands on the blonde's shoulders.

As soon as her skin touched Maura's, the sleeping woman began screaming, kicking and pushing Jane. "Jane! Jane? Please." Maura cried out, causing Jane to pull back wondering if she had awoken. The honey-colored eyes were still covered by their lids, tears still running from them. Jane pulled Maura close, shushing her over and over.

Eventually, Maura woke up, Jane holding her tightly to her chest. When Jane realized that Maura had stopped flailing and screaming, she released Maura and began hushing her sobs.  
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." the blonde apologized over and over, but Jane knew it wasn't for her sake. She was still trapped in that apartment, sometimes it felt as if he'd taken Maura's soul from her body. The way Maura stared into Jane's eyes, all hurt and pain; it broke the brunette's heart every time.  
"Maura, talk to me, please. You've got to do something... please, baby." Jane pled, wiping sweat and tears from Maura's face as the blonde slowly calmed herself.  
"I- Please, Jane. I can't." Maura said, a few silent tears still falling from her eyes. The blonde woman buried her face in Jane's chest, "Just hold me, Jane. I just need you." Maura whispered.  
"I'm here, Maura. I'll always be here." the brunette promised, kissing Maura's hair over and over until she fell asleep again.

The next morning, Jane woke to empty arms and a tired mind.  
"Maura?" she asked sleepily, wandering into the kitchen space, hoping Maura was simply up early making tea. Jane's ears perked up as she heard the water in the bathroom running. The door was locked, and it concerned Jane more than anything. "Maura? C'mon, open the door. It's just me." The brunette begged banging on the door. She heard wet footsteps and then the door unlocking. Jane burst into the bathroom,  
"I'm sorry, Jane. I just… needed to be alone." Maura said, trying to hide her burning red skin underneath the bath water.  
"You've been doing it again." Jane said frustrated, pulling Maura's arm from out of the water. The cloth in her hand was nearly worn through Maura had been scrubbing her skin so hard.  
"You can't keep doing this, Maura. Please, for me. Don't do this to yourself, confide in me." Jane pleaded tears forming in her eyes. She wiped them away as soon as they came, but Maura could see the effect it was having on the brunette.  
It was then that she broke down, sobbing into the water.  
"He was so angry. He saw you… he saw you leaving, and then when I didn't come home from work…" Jane kneeled down beside the tub, holding Maura's hand in her own. "He just burst through the door. And he kept saying 'That queer?! A fucking queer?!' He kept screaming and screaming and hitting… he wouldn't stop… I kept asking… but he wouldn't… then he…" Maura broke down even further; her entire body shaking in fear. "It was horrible, Jane, so horrible… I can still feel his hands." Maura threw her hands over her face. "I tried to scream… I tried to… but he wouldn't let me leave. He made me call Vince…"  
"It's gonna be okay, Maura. It's over now, he can't hurt you anymore." Jane whispered, placing her palm on the blonde's shoulder.  
"I tried to leave… I tried to scream for you… But it only made him…"  
"I'm so sorry, Maura. I should have been there. I should have known." Jane fretted, biting her lip.  
"I finally got away, but… he-he said he'd kill you… I couldn't let him… no matter what… I couldn't… couldn't lose you…" Maura finished, pulling her knees up to her chest.  
"You'll never lose me, Maura. I won't let anything like that happen ever again." Jane whispered. She wanted so badly to comfort Maura, to tell her over and over again that things were okay now, but she wasn't sure they were.  
"I can still feel his hands, Jane... I feel so... dirty." Maura whispered her nails digging into the skin on her legs. Jane swallowed hard, unsure of what she was about to do, but she had to do something.

Jane stood up and took off the white shirt and boxers that adorned her figure. Quietly she slipped into the bathtub sitting across from Maura. The brunette took the cloth from the crying blonde's hand and began to wash her lover's legs and feet.  
"Jane?" Maura said confused, but she didn't lift a hand to stop her. Jane went slowly as if she was polishing some grand figure with the utmost care. She motioned for Maura to come sit with her back to Jane, and Maura slowly moved, tears forming in her eyes. She couldn't believe that someone would still be so gentle with her, after all that had happened. How was Jane not disgusted with her? She was so disgusted with herself.

The brunette began washing Maura's shoulders, kissing the tender skin as she went. Neither knew what time it was by the time Jane had washed Maura's entire torso, but neither seemed to care. As Jane finished Maura's hips and stomach she stopped hesitant to go any lower. But Maura took the brunette's hand in her own, and pressed both of their hand's against Maura's most tender of places.  
The cloth sank away, and Maura guided Jane's hand, turning slightly in the water to bring their mouths together in a reverent kiss. The blonde knew things had been difficult for both of them, but she knew one thing more than anything else, she needed Jane and Jane needed her.

The pair moved slowly and quietly, but with intensity. It was as if the entire world around them was cracked glass and, should they move to quickly or breathe too loudly the entire world might fall apart. Neither said the other's name or said anything at all, each guided the other to where they needed them. Jane knew it was the holiest moment in all her life, and Maura was sure she'd never felt anything like this and might not ever again.  
It was beautiful yet sad, gentle yet powerful. They moved in silence, the water barely lapping at the edge of the tub as they changed positions. Maura lingered at the edge of ecstasy and Jane stayed there with her, both savoring the moment and the anticipation of what was to come. Maura placed a hand on Jane's cheek. Jane took the hand in her own and left kisses from Maura's palm to her neck. Finally, Jane felt it. That singular moment where everything was perfect and nothing could go wrong.  
"Maura?" she whispered, her voice hushed and barely audible.  
"Yes, Jane?" Maura said softly, leaning into Jane's kisses.  
"I love you." The brunette said quickly, her husky voice no longer quiet, but true and intense. Maura felt herself pushed over the edge as Jane spoke the words. Her body went numb then all nerves and sparks. The cracked edges of their world began fusing together, and the pair caught their breath quickly.  
"I love you, too, Jane."  
"I love you, so much, Maura." Jane let the words fall from her mouth into Maura's ear.  
"I know." The blonde replied, slipping her hand into Jane's wet, tangled hair. The pair clashed together in a deep, strong, honest kiss.  
"I have to… go to work." Jane said in between breaths.  
"Stay?" Maura pleaded. She let her hands wander up and down Jane's smooth back.  
"You know I can't." replied the brunette sadly.  
"I know…" came the answer. Jane stepped out of the tub and wrapped herself in a towel.

She held a hand out to Maura, who used it to pull herself up and out of the tub. The brunette took advantage of the moment and pressed herself close to Maura. The blonde simply placed her hand on the exposed scar on Jane's chest.  
"Will you tell me about them?" she asked a sad look in her eyes.  
"Yes, but not today. We've had enough sadness for the day." Jane said, a small smile playing across her face, but her eyes seemed on the edge of tears. The last thing she wanted was Maura feeling sorry for her. But Maura knew that if Jane didn't tell her, there would always be something between them.  
"Alright…" Maura whispered, placing a chaste kiss on Jane's cheek.


	7. Scars & A Story

**Trigger Warning: Self-Injury & Domestic Violence**

* * *

It was a mere two days after Maura had talked to Jane about what had happened to her, but things were already looking better for the pair. Maura's nightmares had lessened and she was able to be intimate with Jane once more. However, one thing still gave Maura pause every time they made love, the scars on Jane's chest and her three broken ribs. The blonde wanted to know, not to compare what had happened to her own abuse, but to know how Jane had made it through, to learn more about the woman she loved.

The brunette had rushed home from work, knowing there might be just enough time for a quick tryst before Maura had to go down to the Robber to sing. Jane slid through the door, barely catching herself on the stair rail.  
"Maura!" she called as she took the stairs two at a time. "Maura?" Jane called again, realizing that the blonde might be sleeping, as she often did.

As usual, the blonde lay silent and still on the crotchety old bed. The brunette quietly slipped off her shoes and tip-toed over to the bed. She crouched down in front of Maura and brushed some hair from the blonde's face.  
"Maura." She said huskily, placing a palm on the blonde's shoulder. Jane gently shook Maura's shoulder knowing that she still frightened easily after everything she'd been through. The blonde stirred a bit, until Jane called out to her again. Her eyes shot open, and immediately her hands came up to protect her face.  
"Shh, baby. It's okay. I'm sorry." Jane said, her hand venturing to Maura's cheek.  
"It's alright, Jane. You just startled me a bit." The blonde replied sitting her back against the rusty bed frame. "You're back from work a bit early, aren't you?" she remarked, giving a slight yawn and wiping at her eyes.

"Well, I couldn't wait to do this." Jane muttered, giving Maura a deep, heated kiss. The blonde smiled into the kiss, and opened her lips to Jane's attentive tongue.  
"Jane…" Maura murmured into a second kiss. The brunette moved Maura to the center of the bed and straddled her hips. The blonde then pulled Jane into another frenzied kiss. "Jane!" Maura moaned, moving her hips against the brunette's.  
"Mm, Maura…" Jane replied, removing herself from Maura's hips to quickly remove Maura's silky underwear. She threw them aside, and lifted the blonde's short night dress over her head. The blonde caught Jane's hand and brought it up to her mouth, sucking on the long, slender digits as the brunette began caressing and kissing Maura's chest.  
Maura moaned around Jane's fingers, as the still fully clothed woman began kissing lower and lower. The brunette slowly withdrew her fingers from Maura's humid mouth and pressed them against her lover's sex.  
"Jane." Maura pleaded, pushing her hips down onto Jane's hand. The brunette placed her hand on the small of Maura's back lifting her lover's center to her mouth. Jane slowly lapped at the other woman's moist sex, eliciting moans and whimpers of pleasure from Maura.  
"Please, Jane… I need you, hurry…" the blonde groaned, moving her hips in time with Jane's tongue. The brunette withdrew her tongue, relishing Maura's taste. She placed two fingers at the blonde's entrance and slowly, teasingly pressed them inside. Jane moved her mouth over Maura's bundle of nerves and began sucking and kissing the swollen bud.  
"Maura, I love you like this." Jane said in her husky, sultry voice, increasing her pace. Maura moaned, grabbing onto the thin cotton sheets below her.  
"I'm so close, Jane, please. I want you to-." The blonde groaned in pleasure, wrapping her fingers in Jane's hair and pressing the brunette into her center. Jane happily obliged, quickening her ministrations and teasing Maura more and more.  
The blonde felt her back arch and her release melt through her body. She bit her lip and her eyes closed as Jane continued lapping at Maura's wetness.  
"Jane… Jane, darling.. I'm-" Maura was cut off by a second wave of ecstasy, her thighs clenching around the brunette's head and her toes curling in bliss. "Mm. Jane…" the blonde began breathlessly.  
"Yes, Maura?" Jane said, pulling herself up to the blonde's face. "What is it, love?"  
"I love you, so much, Jane." Maura's chest heaved with each word. She bit her lip once more, the last waves of climax running through her body.  
Jane placed a gentle kiss on Maura's forehead and replied with her own declaration of love.  
"I think we both need a bath." Jane added, pressing her hand to Maura's cheek with a smirk. It was still a bit early; they had nearly two hours before Maura had to be on stage.

Jane stood up and began stripping in front of her wardrobe, careful to place her work shirt and pants in their appropriate place. As the brunette removed her undershirt revealing her bindings, Maura came up behind her, and wrapped her arms around Jane's chest.  
"Tell me about them? Please." Maura muttered, nuzzling her face into Jane's neck. Her fingers dragged across the rough cloth bindings and the brunette sighed.  
"Later, tonight. After you finish work." Jane promised turning in Maura's arms to place a kiss on her lover's cheek. "I promise." That would provide her enough time to figure out how to say the words that she had been avoiding so earnestly. "But for now…" Jane muttered, hastily, taking Maura into her arms and carrying her into the bathroom.

The night was quiet, except for Maura's bright voice and Barold's piano playing. Yes, the couples on the dance floor talked, and Vince would yell occasionally to tell a pair or two to calm it down; but overall, there were no fights, no scuffles on the dance floor. Everyone was having a good night; everyone except Jane. She put on a good face for Maura and was obliging, but her brain was preoccupied. She wondered how she could tell her lover what had happened- what had been done to her and what she had done to herself. It seemed an insurmountable task.

More than once, Maura noticed the far away look in Jane's deep brown eyes. She knew it must be quite difficult for Jane to talk, or even think about, but still Maura felt if she knew she would be able to understand Jane more. That's what the blonde truly wanted, to know every facet of Jane, to know what it meant when she looked this way or that, when she said this instead of that. Little did Maura know that Jane was attempting to bring forth her truest self, instead of lie like she had in the past. It was complicated and difficult to deal with, but Jane knew she must.

The bar had closed; everyone had cleaned up and left, Maura saying goodnight to Vince before locking the main doors. Jane sat at the bar, chewing on the inside of her lip as she did when she was anxious. The blonde took Jane's hand in her own and headed towards the door and stairs to their apartment.  
"Wait, Maura." Jane said shakily, she cleared her throat and tried again as Maura came back to her side. "Will you sit with me? I promised I'd tell you about myself, but I'd rather do it here." Maura sat at the bar beside Jane, a concerned look crossing the blonde's face.

"I want you to promise me something, Maura. Don't pity me. I'm not the person I was then, and I'm stronger for what all happened, but I don't need sympathy anymore." She started, rubbing the insides of her palms as she talked. Not once did she look in Maura's eyes, she thought it would be much too difficult then. Silently, the blonde took Jane's chin in her hand and brought their faces parallel to one another.  
"I promise." Maura said, hardly above a whisper. It was then that Jane stood, turned her back and then decided to turn around again.

"I grew up with my dad; he was rough but a good man. Still he didn't know what to do with me, when I was young it was okay to dress the way I did- act the way I did. But as I got older, people started to notice, they started rumors and things began to happen. He told me over and over to change, but I just couldn't. I tried, really I did. One day though, it hit me. Why should I change? I asked him and that was it. He… explained in his way, more fists and kicking than words." She said looking away from Maura. Jane loved her old man, very much, but things were different, especially with the woman she loved in her life. Things made sense now. "Anyhow, I left once I got better. And it's been me on my own ever since. I don't remember how old I was. Fourteen- fifteen, maybe?" Tears had formed in Maura's eyes, but she quickly wiped them away.

"That's my ribs, but I'm not ashamed of them. It made me stronger, Maura." A far away look spread across Jane's face. "I learned then that I would never change because I didn't need to. It was everyone else who needed to change. I was honest and they were wrong- they are wrong, Maura." Jane muttered, looking back at Maura.

"These…" Jane said her hand over her chest. "I was young and stupid, Maura." She stopped for a moment, unsure of how to speak about what she'd never spoken about before. "I learned what I had to do to survive. I'm not proud of it, but I did it. I got myself some nice clothes, and the women just found me. I wasn't happy, it was just… sex. I couldn't get a job, not like if I'd stayed at home. I'd have been a seamstress or a grocer's wife." Jane spit out in disgust. "I found a way to live, only thing was, I couldn't live with myself." She paused here, taking off her jacket, vest, shirt and finally her bindings. Jane took Maura's hand and placed it over the largest scar which sat above her right breast. "I couldn't stand the way I felt. I felt… repulsive, sickening. I did these myself, Maura. I don't expect you to understand; I can't expect that of anyone." She wrapped her hand around Maura's and took it to the left side of her chest, pressing it to where she could feel her heartbeat through the blonde's hand. "That isn't who I am anymore. The scars, the broken ribs; none of it is me. This," she said pressing Maura's hand into her chest. "Is me. The person I am when I'm with you- that's who I am." Jane finished, picking up her shirt to put it over herself.  
"Jane, my Jane." Tears fell from Maura's eyes.  
"You promised, Maura. Don't pity me."  
"I'm not. I'm loving you." The blonde smiled. "You understand so much- so much more than I thought." Maura's eyes searched Jane's for a hint of something. That spark that only Jane could make in her heart. It took a moment, but Maura saw the past fade and the present come into Jane's eyes. She saw the Jane she knew and loved, "We'll be alright, Jane."


	8. An Old Friend & A Rough Night

Things had gotten difficult between Jane and Maura. Jane worked long, hard days at the docks and was often exhausted by the time Maura got done with the club. They'd grown apart a bit, and Jane felt that something bad was going to happen soon.

One Sunday night, Jane had been sleeping most of the day, catching up on her beauty rest and when she finally made it downstairs she saw the problem that had been looming in her head.

She had quit the life she lived before when she met Maura, but that didn't mean that remnants still remained. One remnant was sitting at the bar, Jane wanted to run back upstairs, pretend she hadn't seen her. Still, Jane had promised Maura that she would dance with her tonight. Casually, the brunette walked to the bar, ordered a beer and sat down, trying to avoid the olive-skinned woman's line of view.

"Janie?!" the voice came from behind her and she nearly winced. She'd always hated when people had called her that, even when she was young. Jane tried to ignore the owner of the voice, continued staring at Maura and didn't look back. But she heard the click of heels and was soon surrounded in a hug. "I knew it was you. I'd recognize that style anywhere."

"I didn't recognize you. Your style's changed." Rizzoli replied intending it to be an insult.

"I know, this is what getting ahead of the game gets you, Janie." the woman placed a hand on Jane's knee and began moving it up towards her thighs. "But I heard you got out of the game. Heard some rumours..." she placed her mouth near Jane's ear and flicked her tongue across Jane's lobe. "that you found someone else... But that's not true is it Janie." the woman's hand was now dangerously close to Jane's center.

The brunette stood quickly, and turned to ask Vince for a second beer.

From the stage, Maura watched curiously as the beautiful woman in the burgandy dress approached Jane. She thought they must be old friends from the hug, and tried to keep her smile on for the rest of the song. She managed to keep on her entertaining face on until she saw the woman reaching for Jane's crotch. Thankfully the song only had a few bars left.

Jane was getting frustrated, and really felt like hitting something, or someone, but she knew Maura would never see her the same if she lifted a hand to the woman now running her hands up Jane's sides.

"Janie,"

"Riley, I have to go. But it was nice to see you." Jane muttered trying to scoot past the woman to be at the stage to take Maura's hand.

"No kiss for an old friend?"

"No, Riley. I really have to go."

"It wasn't a request, Janie." Riley, pressed one hand to JAne's chest and used the other to bring Jane's lips to meet hers. The woman was stronger than Jane had remembered and wasted no time in deepening the kiss, running her tongue along the inside of Jane's lips. For a moment, Jane lost herself, she felt the worthlesness arise in her stomach and the old Jane returning, but when she opened her eyes and looked at Maura, she pushed Riley back fervently.

Riley pulled back, her hand going to Jane's hip. She followed Jane's line of sight and found herself staring at Maura.

"I figured there was only one way that Jane Rizzoli would up and leave. Turns out it's a cute little blonde thing. I wonder if she's as good a fuck as I was." Riley said harshly.  
"Let's ask." she smiled wickedly and Jane's eyes darkened angrily. Maura was already on her way down the steps, ignoring the hands offered to assist her down. She stormed to Jane's side and looked jealously at the woman in the burgandy dress.

"Excuse you. Who is this, Jane?" she asked quickly, stepping in front of Jane and removing Riley's hand from her lover's waist.

"I was about to ask Janie the same question." Riley replied shrugging her shoulders.

"Riley, this is Maura. Maura, this is Riley." Jane tried to control her temper, but Maura could tell from her voice that she was livid. Riley extended her hand to Maura, who looked at it and then stared the woman down.

"I don't appreciate you touching Jane that way. And I don't think she was appreciating it either." Maura was feeling protective. Sure girls had hit on Jane, but no one had dared to get that close.

"I was just saying 'Hello' to my old... partner." the woman smirked. "If you'll excuse us, we were talking. Of course, if you want to join us," Riley took a step towards Maura and placed a hand on her face running it down her neck to her chest. "I don't mind. Do you Janie? It'll be like old times."

"Maura, I need to talk to Riley. Besides, isn't it time for another song." Jane put her hand on Maura's shoulder. She didn't want Maura to hear anymore about her past, not like this. And she definitley didn't want her to hear what Jane was about to say to Riley. The blonde looked at the taller woman in shock. "Trust me, Maura." Jane whispered placing a kiss on Maura's forehead.

"I do." Maura said quietly, giving a last testing look to Riley before going back on stage.

Jane waited until Maura started singing and used the cover of the crowd to take Riley out the front door. They walked a little ways, and Jane pulled Riley into an alley.

"Listen, Riley. I gave up that life, and I'm sorry if I hurt you. But this is my life now-" Riley placed her hand over Jane's mouth and grabbed Jane's ass.

"Let's not talk." Riley said trying to bring Jane into another kiss. Jane pushed Riley against the wall and pinned her hands down.

"Don't you get it? I don't want you. I didn't want you then, and I don't want you now, Riley." Jane let Riley's hands go, but kept her face close to the other woman's. Hoping to see her give in.

"I think you'll change your tune, Janie. After all, I know people now. I've made my way up. So come with me Janie. Leave little miss innocent, she can't possibly take care of you the way I did." Riley searched Jane's face. "I can still tell when you're turned on, Jane." Riley cupped Jane's sex through her pants. The brunette's breath caught in her throat.

"Stop it, dammit!" Jane whispered aggressively, backing away. There was a bit of fear in her eyes. Riley did know how to make Jane miserable, she knew what buttons to push and when to push them soft, when to push them hard.

"Why, I bet you haven't even told her the truth about your scars? I don't think you've told her the real reason why you have them and so many." Riley saw that she struck a nerve, and kept pushing. "You lied to her didn't you. What did you say to her? Tell me." the woman demanded. Jane was on the verge of tears, and could barely hold them back. Riley was the only person that had ever really scared her, and though it was probably hard for people to believe, Riley still scared her.

"I told her the truth. I told her I did it myself because I was unhappy."

"But you didn't tell her the whole story. You didn't tell her why it was that you were so unhappy. Oh I'm sure you skirted your way around the truth, but you could never admit what had happened. You still can't say the words, can you?" Riley had Jane back into the wall by now, taunting her. Jane looked petrified, she couldn't speak, even if Riley had asked her to.

"One day you'll say the words, Jane. But I doubt you'll say them to her." she laughed heartily and smiled, placing another kiss on Jane's lips, drawing blood as she bit down on the brunette's lower lip. "I'll see you later, Janie." Riley whispered leaving the alley and walking quietly down the street. For her part, Jane simply slid down the wall and fell to the ground, shaking.

"Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Stop thinking about it." Jane began hitting herself about the head, tears running down her face. She hated crying, more than anything else, more than Riley. She hated when her eyes would go blurry and tears started to fall. It showed weakness. She'd worked so hard to forget and barely an hour with Riley and it all came back crashing down on her. Jane sat there fighting with herself for the next hour. She couldn't move, couldn't speak except in a hushed whisper. She felt like a child, unable to do anything without someone holding her hand.

More over, Jane didn't know what she'd tell Maura when she got back to the Robber. She wasn't sure if Maura would even believe the truth, if Jane somehow found a way to tell her. How could she explain Riley without talking about what had happened? Finally, Jane stood to her feet, still a little nsteady. She walked out of the alley and back up to the bar.

Everyone was starting to leave, a few stragglers left at a couple tables. The Robber was closing soon, and luckily for Jane, Maura didn't have another break. The brunette hoped it would give her time to figure out what to say, to try and find the courage and strength she needed.  
But as she took a sip of her beer and swallowed, she felt the contents of her stomach disrupt. Her bindings felt too tight and she felt heated. She laid a dollar on the counter to cover her beer, and Jane sprinted for the steps leading up to her apartment. Jane only made it halfway up the steps before she vomited and passed out.

Maura didn't know what to make of Jane's return. She could tell something upsetting had happened, but she couldn't think of what could have Jane this upset. Unless, Jane was leaving her. Her heart cracked with the thought, but she shook the thought from her mind. She finished up the last song and the last few stragglers left, some needing help getting to a cab.

"I think you oughta go check on Jane. She didn't look good earlier." Vince said, sending a nod in the direction of the stairwell.

"Alright." Maura said a bit angrily. Why hadn't Jane come back down? What could she be doing up there? Maura's heart cracked deeper wondering if Jane was packing.

Holding back tears, she opened the door to the stairs. Immediatley, she saw Jane and started calling loudly for Korsak.  
Korsak bounded towards Maura's voice while Maura went to Jane's side.

"Jane! Jane!" the blonde shook the brunette's shoulders roughly. It took a few more minutes of shaking and screaming before Jane's eyes shot open.

"Why are you yelling at me?" Jane asked drearily, rubbing at her eyes and pulling back at the smell of vomit.

"Jane, what happened? Did you hit your head? You were passed out..." Maura began crying, while Vince helped Jane stand.

"You best go rest for tonight." the bartender suggested, and held out a hand to Maura, still crying. "And you best take care of her." he eyed Maura with a stoic face that soon broke into a soft smile.

"Yes, we'll manage. Thank you, Vince. I was so afraid..." Maura muttered taking Jane's arm.

"I'll take care of this mess. You two go rest." he added, nodding towards the putrid spot on the stairs. Jane held her hand up in an attempt to signal good night, and MAura simply smiled before the pair disappeared behind the door of the apartment.

Maura let Jane down on the bed. The brunette curled into a ball and rolled onto her side, turning away from Maura.

"Jane?" Maura received a grunt in response. "What happened with Riley after you left?"

"Not tonight, Maura." Jane said trying to hold back tears, she didn't want to be angry with Maura, but if she kept asking questions she'd have no choice.

"But Jane, what did she say? Is that why you're upset?" Maura continued.

"Dammit, Maura. I said not tonight. I can't handle this tonight." Jane yelled, not even bothering to look at Maura when she got up from the bed. The brunette walked, stomped really, to the bathroom and slammed the door, locking it.

All Maura could do was cry. And that's how they both went to sleep- crying and separate.


	9. Leaving & Staying

The next morning, Jane had showered and was gone to work before Maura could wake up. It was like that for a few days, Jane avoiding Maura and Maura not really understanding why. All she could assume, although she hated assuming, was that something had happened between Riley and Jane. Whatever it was, whether it was a kiss or words, she didn't like it. She was determined to confront Jane. Maura thought she deserved the truth even if it was bad, she'd rather know sooner rather than later.  
It took four more days before Maura caught Jane awake and in the bath one night. She barged into the bathroom, quickly took off her clothes despite Jane's chorus of "Maura! What are you doing?!" Jane looked aside as if she'd never seen Maura naked before, a bit of anger in her face. The blonde slid into the tub opposite Jane and leaned forward, taking Jane's hands in hers.

"Why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm not avoiding you."

"We live together and I haven't seen you for a week."

"Well, I'm here at night. It's not my fault I work my ass off and come home tired." Jane said, still not looking at Maura.

"Jane, please, look at me. Do you... do you not want me anymore?" Maura looked down at the cooling water. "I- I still want you, love you."

"It's not that I don't want... I just-" Jane looked at Maura for a moment, but couldn't take the teary look in her eyes. "I don't know what to say, Maura." the brunette looked away sadly and stood up grabbing a towel. "There just... I can't talk about it, Maura. I'm sorry."  
Maura reached out and took Jane's hand; Jane didn't look back.

"I'm sorry, too, Jane." Maura whispered. Jane took her hand back, and walked out the door silently. Maura sat in the water until her fingers looked like prunes. She didn't know what she should do. Jane was drifting away and there was nothing she could do.

The distance between the two kept growing. And the more Maura struggled to bring Jane closer, the more Jane pulled away. Jane hated it, but she couldn't admit what had happened, not even to herself. She knew Maura would understand, she was always so understanding, but the brunette wasn't sure how she could say the words.

"Just tell me, did something happen between you and Riley?" Maura would question every time she had Jane to herself. "I won't be angry; I just want to know, Jane."

"Maura," Jane would say exasperated. "I can't talk about it. I can't explain it, okay? Can't you just leave it be?" Jane was tired, physically, emotionally, mentally. It had been a long few weeks. Work was hard, being near Maura was hard. Jane didn't know what to say about why she had been pulling back every time Maura touched her. Or why she'd been flinching any time someone got near her. She was skittish, afraid of her own shadow.

Maura had noticed, but wasn't sure what to say or do. It frustrated her and she knew Jane must be frustrated, too. Maura tried leaving it be, but it didn't seem to help Jane at all. She tried asking in different ways, asking different questions. But every time Jane would deflect them and run away, sometimes angry, sometimes sad.

It had been nearly a month, and Jane was worse than Maura'd ever seen before. The brunette's anger had finally subsided, but all that she felt now was empty. She still went down and watched Maura sing at the Robber. She went to work, came home, did everything she was supposed to do. But it was all instinct and muscle-memory, nothing was inspired or motivated.

It was a Friday when Maura noticed the regrettably familiar face at the bar. She knew Jane would be down any second, but she couldn't just leave in the middle of a song. Her eyes stayed glued to the corner where Jane would first appear, praying that Jane would be late. Maura hoped for some miracly that Jane wouldn't be able to get downstairs before Maura could warn her. But in that instant of Maura's prayer, she saw Jane walk out of the door.

Jane had kept her eyes downcast for the past few weeks. She didn't look up to see the warning in Maura's eyes. And she didn't look up to see Riley sitting at the bar, a deep emerald dress barely covering her. The brunette sat calmly at the bar and knocked on the wood counter twice for Vince to get her a beer, she didn't speak much these days. A beer slid across the counter, and soon she found herself guzzling the liquid.

"Janie? Did you miss me?" a hand came across Jane's chest and Riley leaned her back against the bar. Maura shot a helpless, warning look to Vince, but he was pouring whiskey for some of the men and didn't see her. Maura watched as Riley's hand went from Jane's chest out of view and anger seethed inside her. Riley was obviously whispering something disturbing into Jane's ear. Even from the stage, Maura could see the brunette's face contort in distress. Slowly, Jane rose from the bar and walked sluggishly back up the stairs to the apartment over the club.

A minute passed and Maura's song was finished. She rushed down the stairs to Riley's side.

"What did you say to her?" Maura asked, violence tainting the edge of her voice.

"Maybe you should go ask Janie that question. But," Riley smirked, and placed her hand on Maura's shoulder with a devilish grin in her eyes, "You can come with us, if you like."

Maura didn't believe what she'd just heard. There was no way, not ever that Jane would leave her. Something was wrong, very wrong and Maura was determined not to lose Jane. The blonde shrugged off Riley's hand and picked up the edge of her dress, running up the stairs. Her heart broke when she entered the room.

Jane was packing. Two of her suits already laid neatly inside the luggage from her old apartment.

"Jane? Jane!" Maura began crying, sobbing really. "What are you doing? Jane, please don't do this. Please, please, don't leave me, Jane." the blonde cried out and ran to wrap her arms around Jane, but the brunette pulled away, never looking into Maura's eyes. "Jane, please, what did I do wrong? I love you, Jane! I know you love me." Maura continued saying whatever she could think of in the moment.

"I'm sorry, Maura. I have to go. I don't love-" Jane couldn't say the words. "I belong with Riley. She knows me." there was no feeling in the brunette's words. She took a third suit and folded it neatly into the case. "I'm sorry."

"What did she say? Did she threaten you? Because I won't let you leave me like this! I love you, Jane! I know you, too! Please, Jane, just tell me what is wrong. We can get through it, together." Maura began shaking and sobbing. Her voice got very quiet and she went to hug Jane from behind. "Jane. Please. I love you. Don't leave me."

Maura wasn't able to see it, but there were nearly tears in Jane's eyes. Jane cleared her throat knowing what she had to tell Maura, knowing the words she'd have to say.

"I'm leaving, Maura. I thought I loved you, but I don't." Jane's heart shattered in her chest, but she knew Maura would never give up, never move on without these words. "I love Riley. I belong with her." Jane turned around and pushed Maura away. The blonde crumpled into a ball on the floor, sobbing violently.

Jane wanted to stop, she wanted to tell Maura what Riley had whispered into her ear. She wanted to scream and cry, to comfort Maura and hold her in her arms for forever. But she knew she couldn't protect Maura all the time, not from everything, not from Riley. So the best she could do was to protect Maura from far away, by staying away.

"Goodbye, Maura." Jane muttered, picking up the suitcase and heading down the stairs. Maura just whispered Jane's name a few times, her eyes closed as if it was a dream and she'd wake up next to the brunette.

"My Janie." Riley said, pretending not to notice the majority of the bar staying at them. She wasted no time before pulling Jane into a bruising kiss, forcing her tongue into Jane's mouth. When she pulled away, Jane's eyes were full of hate. "Now, I know you can kiss better than that, love."

"I hate you, Riley." Jane whispered back, her face stone cold. Riley raised her eyebrow at Jane, daring her to say anything further.

"Jane? Jane, what are you doing?" Vince approached the pair. "You're not leaving, are you?" he asked, concern crossing his face. He looked at Jane as if questioning her willingness to leave.

"I'm leaving, Korsak. Goodbye." was all Jane could say, but she meant so much more. She meant 'Take care of Maura, let her know I still love her. Let her know I'll always love her. Let her know I'm doing this to protect her, and I'll figure out a way to keep her safe.' She didn't know how to get across so much in such few words, but she tried. Jane tried with her eyes and her whole body to show how much pain she was in. Korsak knew something was wrong, and he knew Riley was doing something to Jane to make her leave, but he also knew that Jane would never leave Maura without good reason.

Riley took Jane's arm and led her out of the bar. Jane simply looked behind her while Riley called a taxi to come pick them up.

Jane couldn't do it. She wanted to turn back, to go back in and stay with Maura, no matter how selfish that might be, but she couldn't. Riley backed her into a wall and began kissing her deeply as they waited for the taxi. The other woman bit Jane harshly, she always did like causing Jane pain. But Jane closed her eyes and thought of Maura, thought of the tenderness of their kisses. She thought about how Maura had touched her that first night, so softly, gently with care. The brunette didn't feel the warmth of hot tears on her face.

"Wow." Riley said, pulling away for a breath. "If that's how the blonde kisses, I'm not suprised you chose her for a while. But now, we're back, Janie."

"Don't talk about her. Ever." Jane threatened.

"I kind of like it when you fight back, Janie. It's quite... amusing." Riley decided, noting the taxi currently pulling up to the bar. "But you really shouldn't try and threaten me, love." Riley whispered pressing her hand hard against Jane's healed ribs. It hurt, and she could feel them pressing against her insides. It took Jane's breath. "Now get in the taxi."

And then it came to Jane, this was Riley. She couldn't trust Riley. If Jane was gone, then there was no one to protect Maura. If Jane left, Maura would be completely alone. And Riley, she could do anything, and Jane would have no way of knowing or protecting Maura. Jane smiled, her eyes flickering back to life. She whispered one word, but Riley had her back turned. She faced Jane and took a step towards her,

"What was that, Janie?"

"No." the confidence slowly poured into Jane's heart. She swallowed hard, and stepped forward towards Riley, "No. I'm not getting in the taxi. I'm not going anywhere with you. How dare you come into my life and try to pull me away from the one person who has ever really loved me?!" Riley looked up at Jane in shock. The taxi beeped his horn, but Riley held out a finger to shush him.

"Janie. Get in the taxi, now." Jane simply laughed.

"You think you have all this control. It's only because I let you. I'm not some scared little girl anymore. And if you ever come back here and threaten Maura or me, or anyone that I care about, you'll wish you were dead. Now get in the taxi, Riley. And leave."

Jane didn't bother waiting to see if Riley got in the taxi. She didn't care, really. All Jane knew was that Maura was sitting in their apartment alone, and Jane couldn't let that happen. She ran back into the club, and took a small moment for herself. It felt like she'd come home after a long, long trip. The smell, the atmosphere, everything. Jane realized this is where she belonged and she never wanted to be anywhere else.

Jane ran to the bar.

"Vince! Vince! Is she still upstairs?" Jane asked barely stopping to hear Korsak say 'yes'. Jane took the stairs as fast as she could, and burst through the door. It was quiet except for the roar of the bar.

"Maura! MAURA!" Jane screamed running into the bedroom, Maura wasn't where she'd left her. She wasn't in the living room or the bed room, not downstairs, but the bathroom door was closed. Jane tried it, but it was locked. "Maura! Maura! I'm sorry, open the door. I couldn't leave you, I couldn't do it. Please, let me explain." there was no answer and Jane began to pound her fist on the door, screaming for Maura. The brunette took a few steps back and rammed her shoulder into the door, it took two more times before the door gave way and Jane's shoulder was screaming in pain. But that's not what stopped her when she was finally in the bathroom.

What stopped her, well, Jane couldn't believe her eyes. Not when they were this blurred with tears.


End file.
